Monday, March 29, 2010

God is always with us

I wrote this today in response to a friend who is sure God is ignoring her and holding her past against her. I think it's easy to feel that way sometimes because God doesn't always answer the way we want him to. We need to be thankful that He watches out for us and sometimes says "no" to our prayers because He knows that what we want at the time is not the best thing for us.

God is not ignoring you and He is not holding your past against you. Absolutely nothing in this world can separate us from the love of God. You are His child and He loved you before you were ever born. There are two things that we must do – confess that Jesus is His only son who came down from heaven and suffered on the cross to take the punishment for our sins and confess our sins. He does not hold your past against you as long as you acknowledge the mistakes you made and truly seek his forgiveness. 1 John 1:9 says that “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” The Message says it this way – “…if we admit our sins – make a clean breast of them – He won’t let us down; He’ll be true to Himself. He’ll forgive our sins and purge us of all wrongdoing.”

Sometimes the answer to our prayer may be "no" or "not now" because that is what is best for us. Sometimes the answers to our prayers are so subtle that if we don’t look for them, we miss them. They may be answered differently from what we expected. Sometimes we are given a burden that we don’t know how we can handle it but with His help we can. I believe that we can choose as Paul did to “learn to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether being in plenty or in want. I can do everything through Him who gives me strength. (Philippians 3:11b -13)

God is full of grace. He doesn’t withhold things that are good for us. He will show us the way and provide for our needs. We have to trust him when the fulfillment of our needs and prayers aren’t the way we imagined them to be. He always does what is right, in order to fulfill His purpose and desires. My security comes from His absolute sovereignty. I really believe that sometimes we have to go through those valleys in order to learn the lessons we need to live on the mountain top.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

A kidney stone????

I'm having a hard time believing how fast 2010 is racing by. On one hand it seems like nothing has been accomplished but then on the other it seems like it's been a constant go, go, go. March roared in like a lion around the Martin household and I don't mean just the weather. With the help of my wonderful pain management doc, the fibromyalgia pain seems to be under control finally. So I was a little surprised when I started having horrible abdominal pains around February 26. That was Friday. By Sunday night I was in so much pain I could hardly walk and I finally agreed to let Bill take me to the ER. I was really embarrassed to go because I felt like the pain was from my IBS but I just couldn't take it anymore. The care I received in the ER was wonderful and they were so kind and gentle. The doc agreed with my theory but had a CT done to confirm it. We were all surprised when it came back that I had an 11mm x 9 mm kidney stone. I've had two babies - one with a horrible labor that ended in a c-section and one that the doc cut me for the c-section before my epidural had taken affect. I would do both of those several more times before I would want to have another kidney stone. I can't imagine how bad the pain would have been had I not already had pain meds on board for my fibro pain. I just kept repeating, to no one in particular, " A kidney stone, I've got a deadgum kidney stone."

Since I didn't have a urologist, the ER doc gave me the name and number of a doc and sent us home. Monday morning, bright and early, I called the urologist office only to find out that Monday was his surgery day. His wonderful nurse, Brittney, tried her best to convince me that it would be ok if I didn't see him right away but I wasn't buying it. She went on to say that he would pull it up on BaptistCD and see how big it was. If it was rather large, she would call back and get me in on Tuesday otherwise I would have to wait a few days. Three hours later Brittney calls back and asks me how quick I can get to their office. (Yes, I did start to freak out at this point.) Dr. Patterson had taken a look at it between surgery cases and was headed to his office to see me between cases. When I got there, we talked for a few minutes, he told me how large it was and explained the different procedures for taking care of it. More freaking out occurred when he told me that I was already scheduled at outpatient surgery and to head over there right then. He did let me come home and pick up Bill so that we didn't have the car and the bike at the hospital. To make this long story a little shorter, Dr. Patterson took me to surgery and inserted a stent to help open things up and in the process knocked the stone loose from where it had decided to stay. So since March 1, I've been walking around with a stent and a kidney stone floating around in my kidney. Tuesday I go back and see Dr. Patterson and set up a time for him to go back in and take a laser and go Luke Sky Walker on my stone. Hopefully, that will take care of the situation and I will never, ever have another kidney stone.